All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
operation harelip BJ is a go
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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