I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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