It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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