THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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