You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize