and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
