let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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