I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is Oprah even human
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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