And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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