yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
