Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
