I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Randomize
