careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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