Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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