we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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