its not stalking. its research.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
