between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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