I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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