Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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