Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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