So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
