fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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