I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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