hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
