You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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