Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
