i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
