If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Who did Billy Mays play for?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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