why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
