Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
