if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
