I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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