Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
