Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
