Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
