Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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