the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
