GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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