I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
