Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
