if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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