It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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