Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize