that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
