I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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