i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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