well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Randomize
