One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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