You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize