she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
how do you play pong handcuffed?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize