I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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