when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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