I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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