If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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