TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
