Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
