I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
BRING THE BAGELS
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize