Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
