Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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