guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
