youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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