Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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