I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
