I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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