this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
