Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Let's get the cat blown out
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
