so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
she looked like the before picture.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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