Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
