Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
