i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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