Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
