Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
