She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
