You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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