I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
