How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
